I Am Not the Same Man
What is a institution? How is marriage an institution? How is divorce an institution? How might a sociologist interpret divorce in the USA? Approaching this topic from the macro and meso-levels, what other institutions might influence the marriage-institution and the divorce-institution in the USA? What might be motivating people to get divorces today?
An institution is a group of things that come together to form something bigger than itself. The things that make up an institution have common goals, beliefs, actions and etc. We will be looking at divorce, and therefore marriage from a sociological standpoint rather than an individual point of view. Many people believe that divorce is caused by the individual person and nothing else. If you look at anything done by an individual, you can ask questions and do research to find out what occurred or was implied in their culture, surroundings/environment, and history itself that caused them to make certain decisions. As explained in lecture, history tells us why years ago most marriages ended and caused children to be raised by single parents; the death rate was higher in those times. For more recent explanations, I have looked at yourdivorcequestions.org.
"Research has found the most common reasons people give for their divorce are lack of commitment, too much arguing, infidelity, marrying too young, unrealistic expectations, lack of equality in the relationship, lack of preparation for marriage, and abuse. Many of the common reasons people give for their divorce can fall under the umbrella of no longer being in love. Research suggest the nature of love changes over time."
When looking at these reasons, my first question is what are the outside causes for these inside answers? What happened to these individuals in the past to have caused a lack of commitment? How often do couples argue and what are the arguments usually about? How long has it been since the couple has talked about expectations? When do couples discuss their ideas of equality in their partnership? How many couples go into marriage with little thought to their future? What is the individual's belief on teamwork in their relationship? Do these couples believe they have a working, strong communication between the two of them?
These questions can all lead to a simple concept. People change over time. The "radical" idea of individuals not having a personality is not far off from what I believe. In lecture, you have tossed around the idea that individuals are solely a product of their environment. I stand somewhere in the middle. Individuals have aspects of themselves (that have been shaped by their culture and environment) in which nothing can change. However, most of the characteristics of an individual are products of their environment which can be changed when the environment is changed. So going back to divorce, the reason divorce is such a huge institution is because the individuals who enter marriage do not understand the concept of the phrase "You are a product of your environment." This concept, along with strong communication, is the reason that my relationship (and soon to be marriage) works and will continue to work even though I am marrying young and have a thirteen year age gap between my fiancé and I. Going even further back in lecture, you have emphasized that the individualist paradigm is not the thought process that creates social problem solutions. In order to improve and dissolve the divorce rate, individuals must become more aware of the sociologist paradigm and their participation in marriage/divorce. Furthermore, individuals must become less "selfish" and come to understand that humans will never be the same person they were even a second ago. Everyone and everything is constantly changing. I'll leave you with a quote by Heraclitus; "No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it's not the same river and he's not the same man."
References
"How Common Is Divorce and What Are the Reasons?" How Common Is Divorce and What Are the Reasons? | Your Divorce Questions, yourdivorcequestions.org/how-common-is-divorce/.
"A Quote by Heraclitus." Goodreads, Goodreads, www.goodreads.com/quotes/117526-no-man-ever-steps-in-the-same-river-twice-for.